Castleton Gabs=SUCK. hardcore SUCK

this is for all you soccer fans out there.(wherever you are)myself included. some of you may recall the rift caused over in england by the glazer family, same glazers who own the tampa bay buccaneers of the nfl. well before gaining control of the famous manchester united, the glazers were(and still are) met with extreme reposte by the local man utd fans. the fans religiously support their club and it could be said that they are a rough equivalent to a lsu fan(save their beer is drunken at about 40 degrees fahrenheit warmer then we fancy ours) anyhow, as the glazers control of man utd. became imminent, a group of supporters launched 'fc united of manchester.' its a club composed of diehard supporters who just didn't want to see the club they love slip into the hands of the evil american empire known as the glazers. the club was placed into the utmost lower divisions of professional soccer in england, the nwcfl division 2(translation: about 45 years away from the premier league!) where i am happy to report that they won the league and have taken their first step towards the premiership by being promoted. however, with all good things come a pinch of salt, or in this case a pinch of garlic chimney tar. a club by the name of castleton gabs, playing in the same league as our heart warming fc united,well lets just say their season didnt fare quite as fruitful. after 36 games played with a goal difference of +76, fc united finished atop the league with 87 points. in the basement sat castleton. 36 games played in a 19 team league, a goal differential of -84. and a point. a measley point!!!!! i mean, wow. suck. suck. suck. i know this is borderline amateur soccer, but come on a point? to put it into complete context, the 18th place team, Daisy Hill, finished with a whopping 27 points on a goal difference of -37. 47 less goals given up and 26 points ahead of castleton gabs. im going to be keeping tabs on this team,castleton gabs, and ill relay my information to you as i discover just what the hell makes these guys suck so bad. could it be:

1) the english equivalent of terrell owens,(lets say his name is robbie mckenzie)went all TO on his 'mates' and caused goalkeeper paddy wallace(donovan mcnabb) to boycott playing in the same team as mckenzie, leaving coco the tipsy chimp to keep goal.

2) the castleton players refused to give 100 percent due to the fact that fc united's players were being paid for goals they never actually scored.

3) the castleton gabs arent really soccer players. they are cyclists who use the soccer league as an offseason training method to build up testosterone.

4) they suck.


time will tell.

NWCFL Div 2 Standings
GP GD Pts
1 FC United (C) 36 76 87
2 Flixton (P) 36 56 79
3 Nelson 36 29 74
4 Winsford United 36 24 65
5 Padiham 36 24 62
6 Gt Harwood Town 36 18 62
7 Ashton Town 36 2 58
8 Blackpool Mechs 36 -3 49
9 Oldham Town 36 -3 48
10 Norton United 36 -2 51
11 Eccleshall 36 -14 46
12 New Mills 36 -16 46
13 Chadderton (-3) 36 -11 44
14 Cheadle Town (-6) 36 2 42
15 Holker Old Boys 36 -16 41
16 Darwen 36 -14 35
17 Leek CSOB 36 -31 28
18 Daisy Hill 36 -37 27
19 Castleton Gabs (-8) 36 -84 1




put down the glock and get your gloves coco!!



next candidate for manager at castleton gabs?????